Alpha 5

Super Dooper Mega Ultra High Altitudes

9 snowflakes later, a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown (MMMM) occurred. This caused three uniquely unique occurrences to occur. First, Tyler Follo barfed up 3 baseball caps. After that occurred WAIT THAT WAS ONLY TWO THINGS!!! Too bad. Anyway, Tyler barfing up the baseball caps caused massive amounts of Ottoman Empire Zombies to appear throughout the FerfnerugtrnetgNO sector of Messier 1,473,498,979 and its neighboring galaxy Messier 2. This required immediate rectification, as the arrival of this many Ottoman Empire Zombies could offset the natural balance of pine cones and French fries. Therefore, Derek led the 47 Fighters toward the galaxies. 3.3463243525478303956456475648975344973243524324305 hours later, they arrived in the USS Macon and LZ-77. The Ottoman Empire Zombies reacted maybe possibly kind-of immediately by firing large numbers of rocking chairs at the two airships from their Suzuki Powered High Energy Laser Phaser Tazer Maser Quasar Cannons of Extreme Placemat Powers (SPHELPTMQCoEPP). However, they were all terrible shots so the all missed. While the SPHELPTMQCoEPPs were missing the airships every time, Derek dispatched himself to lead a ground invasion force. Boarding his 400 Series Shinkansen That Fails Him Even Less Than His Stuka Does, he led the invasion force of ∞ Suzuki’s as they landed on the planet DGFREGFregferobfvhYouSuck, base of the Ottoman Empire Zombies in the FerfnerugtrnetgNO Sector. In response the OEZ forces fired their Ground Based Loser Cannons, or GBLCs, which fired numerous losers from around the Multiverse at the oncoming 47 Fighters forces. Sadly, many of the losers ended up being Obama Police members, and they were easily able to be defeated by anyone, even some of the other losers. Adding to the this… is… SPARTA!!!, North Korea showed up and started firing 3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 nukes at everyone FORE! -2 reasons. By this point, Derek was almost out of room to write, so he had to think of an ending. Here’s what he came up with: Then Jimmy Jamison appeared, and all the antagonists previously mentioned weren’t awesome enough to be in his presence, so they were ELIMINATED!!! The End.

BTW, congrats to the Seattle Seahawks! (Super Bowl 48 Champs!)

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