The Third Chapter 9

Upside-Down Hippie Hippos of Red Broccoli

3,000 hours later, a mysterious group known as ₦Θ₱Ể appeared on the horizon. However, it turned out that it was actually just the not so mysterious group NOPE, and no one cared. Then the Soviet Broccoli, better known as the “Red Broccoli”, appeared, and took over the planet YOUCAN’TPARKHERE!!!. However, the Evil Bacon Legion, led by the One Direction-colored Duct Tape Ninja, was already there, and a massive battle ensued. The SB called in their allies the Socialist Narwhals, and the Evil Bacon Legion called in THEIR allies, the Inside Out Goldfish flavored Losers of Man Eating Bob Marley Headphones. Then. Then the Obama Police arrived to eliminate everyone, but they got eliminated. Then the 47 Fighters arrived, and found the planet in madness… THIS... IS… SPARTA!!! They quickly decided that Derek should go first, so he did. He landed on the planet in his Suzuki Reno, and set to work. He fired 10 red missiles at nothing and they hit nothing. Then he knocked down two trees, which crushed one of the Big Grey Cubes, which released the Ottoman Empire Zombies. They started throwing bananas at everyone, and everyone started slipping for no reason. Then one of the Socialist Narwhals leapt 2.000008 minutes into the air and farted for no reason, which was the Socialist Narwhals war cry. Then Spencer appeared, playing all his favorite Yugoslavian Folk Music. This was just in time for the Socialist Narwhals and Soviet Broccoli to launch their attack. They all missed. Then there was a commercial break. MESOTHELIOMA!!! Then it was back. Then Deoxys appeared and started knocking things down, but Derek rammed him in his Suzuki Reno and he was knocked down, which formed a black hole. Luckily, Derek had installed a “Black Hole Emergency” button on his dashboard, and he escaped with -2 injuries. Then the story ended just in time for you to stop reading it.

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