The Third Chapter 12

How the World Will End… (Almost)

3 decimeters later, Tyler Follo dumped a bunch of empty yogurt containers into what he though was the South China Sea. However, it turned out to be the EAST China Sea, and a catastrophic failure occurred, releasing hundreds of Rubik’s Cubes into the global waterways, causing mass shortages of ThisElementSucksium, better known by the Uzbek pronunciation of it’s name: BOINK! The lack of BOINK! caused everyone to become addicted to the smell of Sharpies and drinking Pepsi-Mountain Dew combos. This gave all the home security companies the perfect opportunity to start putting their signs in everyone’s yards. -2 idiots later, North Korea arrived and shot c=λν nukes at everyone. However, since the home insurance companies had taken over the world, all the signs in people’s lawns blocked all the nukes with their Suzuki powers. Then, just to make everyone’s day worse, Obama showed up and started hitting people in the head with his baseball bat and stealing all their Pepsi-Mountain Dew combos. Then the Huge Hobo Hippie Hippos Hunting Heavy Hexagonal Hawks (HHHHHHHH) appeared and caused a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown (MMMM) due to their large acronym of all the same letter. However, Joe Biden showed up driving Obama’s Stinky Trash Can-mobile, which angered Obama so much that he turned into “Da-Rock” OBomba and started acting all gangsta. Then Peter showed up and said “Run 80’s black guys! You’re no match for the 90’s black guys!” However, this quote made no sense since years don’t exist in the Pluxa Zone, so everyone ignored him. Meanwhile, Dark Spencer had escaped the Overpopulated Dimension and was firing florescent light bulbs at everyone for his revenge. Then Nick S. showed up and sprayed him with LUBRICANT! This wasn’t enough however, so he called in the Albanian Police, which showed up 545.374356489 meters later in a fleet of Chevrolet Aveos, all of which promptly blew up. However, this explosion killed Dark Spencer, so it worked. There was still the problem of dealing with the gangsta “Da-Rock” OBomba, for whom the 80’s black guys were no match. However, Derek appeared in his Geo Tracker, and loaded his trusty Bari Sax Bazooka with special anti-Obama missiles. He fired 10 to the 47,047,047,047 missiles at “Da-Rock”, and, when combined with a recent nuke launch by North Korea, obliterated Obomba. Then it was the end just in time for it to be the end.

Next Story