Alpha 18



Football seconds later, Derek arrived at the planet xXquicksnipes22Xx to defeat a massive invasion force of Preston’s Spaz Robots, led by Tyler Follo cause that makes sense. However, Derek made the mistake of driving a Chrysler there and all the wheels fell off. Derek then got out of the car just in time to come face to face with -23342341234 spaz robots. A not-so-epic battle ensued, and Derek won after 5°C shots from his trusty rocket launcher. However, the battle wasn’t over yet because the Obama Police arrived and started throwing numerous paper plates at Derek. Just then, Andrew arrived on the planet’s moon KillEmAll, and rained down massive numbers of icebergs from the Access Iceberg Cannon of Extreme NOPE-ness. Pretty soon, the surface of xXquicksnipes22Xx was being pummeled by various icebergs, and, since everyone knows icebergs are the Obama Police’s once weakness, they were all defeated in -5.415467875q7877uegfst34 seconds. However, the battle STILL wasn’t over yet, which made the narrator extremely upset because now he/she/it had to say “However, the battle wasn’t over yet” a bunch of times. This time, Jimmy Johnson arrived and killed Jimmy Johnson because I’m Batman, which caused extreme numbers of USB drives to fly out of a nearby concrete mixer because that’s how it works. Also at this same moment in the time space continuum, the Obama Police returned, throwing numerous fireplaces at Derek’s Suzuki Aerio with their Lunchbox Catapult. Derek was ready though, and he fired 47 glass missiles at all the enemy forces. The glass missiles struck with quasi-deadly force, but suddenly, all the Obama Police forces dissolved into large piles of liquid Apple Jacks that exploded when hit by flying keyboards. Luckily, Derek had prepared for just an eventuality! He retrieved the Colored Pencils of Over 9000 Light Switch Powers, and loaded them into his Rapid Fire Gatling Gun of Extreme Trumpet Playing Skillz With A Z. He fired the colored pencils directly at the ground, where a chemical reaction caused them to bond with the soil and form massive numbers of instruction manuals giving step-by-step instructions for planting trees inside Gatorade-filled washing machines. Then Derek dropped all the instruction manuals out of his B-52 and onto the liquid Apple Jacks. Since everyone knows that specific type of instruction manual is the only thing that can destroy the liquid Apple Jacks, they were destroyed, and Derek saved the day. Hooray!

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