EPIC STORY TIME!!! Beta 1

EST Beta 1 is the 60th EPIC STORY TIME!!! Story produced!!!

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3.437457345r83495877736479087403 negative decimeters later, a bunch of things happened, but the narrator forgot what they were, so time to move on. Here’s where the narrator’s memory is regained. Then Derek loaded the Awesome Aerio’s main cannon with Nokia Lumia 521s and activated voice command, after which he yelled “COMMENCE FIRING!!!” like a boss. Then Tyler was barraged with a trillion billion million thousand Nokias, but they didn’t break because they’re Nokia and Nokias never break. However, Tyler did break, into many small pieces which promptly decayed under their own radioactivity. Then Obama appeared and drank all the moonshine. Leo then appeared and announced he couldn’t fight today because he was sick. He then went back to the Access Death Star, where he barfed up 10.5 Kim Jong-Uns. In response to this, North Korea showed up and launched infinite nukes. However, they all auto-locked on the 10.5 Kim Jong-Uns, and no one worthy of note was injured. Undaunted, North Korea launched infinite more nukes, but Tim showed up and destroyed them all using his Drum Major Powers. Derek then visited the planet Alina It’s Not Cold to tell Alina it wasn’t cold. After performing this extremely important duty, he boarded his Stuka That Never Fails Him and returned just in time to purchase a new Suzuki Equator for -2 reasons. Then Nickky Y. led the 76ers against the 47 Fighters based on the Insular Plate. Derek arrived in Space Shuttle Alt.lantis 3.26439453265 decimeters later to lead the defense of the entire Insular Plate, making up most of the modern-day Insular Belt. Just as the incredible battle was beginning, a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown occurred, and the long-awaited Even Later Heavy Bombardment, successor to the Late Heavy Bombardment, occurred, leading to a large number of “This… Is… SPARTA!!!”s to be stated. However, by the quasi-divine will of Purple Jonathan, Steven noticed a break in the bombardment and the Battle of East Trashcania commenced. Then a massive 47-shaped asteroid pierced the skies over the Insular Plate, and smashed into the 76ers positions, ELIMINATE-ing all resistance, and the Insular Plate was guaranteed existence for the next 3,000,000,000,000,010,000,000,000,000,000 hours.