Alpha 45

The Legend of the PlastiBari

2 inches later, Derek arrived with a RPG-7 and ELIMINATED all the losers. This caused an enormous power vacuum in the loser community. It was so chaotic that the Enlightened Missiles of Intense Knowledge Accuracy arrived to end the madness this is Sparta. Then, over 2 Vacuum batteries arrived from the Pizza Dimension and rained down Pringles cans full of Slippin and Slidin Particles on the lugnuts. During this entire event, over 10 ballerinas joined together with a man known only as “Chopper” to form an incredibly swag band known as Chopper and the Pretty Pretty Ballerinas. Their first single “ISIL is Rubbish” was so good that is was too good to be #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, so it became #-2, where it stayed for ∞ decimeters. After that, they followed it up with such amazing tracks as “Potato Chip” and “I Own a Broccoli”. These songs were so incredible that a whole new genre had to be invented called Wow I’m Good (Almost as good as Derek). After that, it was time for your regularly scheduled programming. The madness this is Sparta was continuing, and Derek discovered the Obama Police was behind it, so he went to the Big B-O’s home planet of wwwwwwwwwAAAAAAAAAAA. There, he discovered that Obama had acquired a massive number of 2 liter Mountain Dew bottles in order to become MLG, but he still wasn’t, so he had to resort to his normal strategy of being absolutely terrible. He was so bad that after using all of his ammo, he still didn’t even hit Derek, which was expected. By everyone. However, during this time, North Korea arrived and shot 5,964,548 nukes at various points in the unknown Universe. However, Derek knew he’d be safe because he was in the known Universe. Then, North Korea shot LOADSANUKES at Derek too because why not. However, Derek brought his Anti-Nuke Nuke, and all the other nukes were obliterated.

The end.