Alpha 34

The Saga of Chad and the Ebolle

7 decimeters later, the new narrator arrived. Then, Derek boarded his Stuka That Never Fails Him and left for Ruugurgdfgghuhuuuuuufdgbnfgnruuugrfu. When he arrived, the Obama Police suddenly burst out of the ground/sky/mountains/hills/rivers/…/deserts/beachs/forests/igloos/canyons/icebergs/peanuts/lakes/volcanoes/basins and fired over 2 missiles at a random cardboard box that was relatively close to Derek’s location at that specific point in time. Then box the exploded and filled the sky with half eaten cargo pants. The number of cargo pants in the sky became so immense that it turned all the Rice Krispie Treats on the planet into equals signs, which flew at over 3,00 miles per mile at the Obama Police ELIMINATEing all of them over the course of the next 4444444444 minus 3333333333 seconds. Then Derek’s phone ran out of battery in 10 minutes because it’s rubbish and his parental unit should really buy him a new one (coughcoughMotorolaMotoXcoughcough). After that, Derek blew up his phone with an nuke, and headed toward Riff-Raffrica, where Tyler Follo was developing his next evil plan to enslave all the tacos in the known multiverse. Derek arrived in Chad, the swaggiest country in Riff-Raffrica, and made an alliance with the Swag Chad Military, aka the SCM. Derek then boarded his enormous gunship, The Authority, and headed west to ELIMINATE Tyler. While on the way, Derek discovered that Tyler was responsible for the outbreak of Ebola in West Riff-Raffrica, as well as the outbreak of Ebolle in New Jersey, which causes freshmen bass clarinets to not play loud enough. Derek knew he had to defeat Tyler now, so he fired The Authority’s main 3,000,000,000,000,000,000 meter cannon at Tyler’s base, which blew it up with such force that it disintegrated into single molecules. Then those molecules got so scared they committed suicide, and Derek became the first person ever to destroy matter.

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