The Third Chapter 8

'''WHO ATE MY NEWSPAPER?!?!??! (The Battle of Leaf Pile)'''

4,009 minus 10 plus one minus 2,000 divided by 1,000 plus 5 minus 7 plus -3 minus -10 minus 4 seconds later, Spencer appeared with a praseodymium cannon that fired both praseodymium bullets and praseodymium lasers out of its multi-functional praseodymium barrel, and used praseodymium ammunition. He fired this weapon at a large group of Self-Aware Singer Sewing Machines (S-ASSM) s, which had occupied Leaf Pile. Luckily for him, Praseodymium was the S-ASSM’s one weakness, and they all died a French Fry Jabba the Hutt Death. Just then, Derek spontaneously created 1,000 metric tons of Astatine, which caused a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown (MMMM). This was so intense that it became the Late Heavy Bombardment, and everything got bombarded. However, right as this occurred, it started raining tritium. Then Derek said “Aw man, now my jacket’s all radioactive!” However, Derek had more to worry about than radioactive outerwear, because the Low Riding Potty Pants Choco-Taco Hippie Hippos (LRPPCTHH) forces had just arrived, and were firing random rays for no reason. Derek fought back with his Turbocharged Rapid-Fire Ultimate Francium Gatling Cannon of Extremely Imposing and Awe-Inspiring Amazingness (TR-FUFGCoEIaA-IA) which had a longer acronym so it won. Then the Glow-In-The-Dark Bacon forces arrived with their new allies, the Man-Eating Washing Machines, the Woman-Eating Living Rooms, and the All Human-Eating Power Outlets. Because of this, Spencer then jumped 3.734638749325475814328 centimeters in the air for no reason. This caused enough of a distraction for Derek to fire a large chunk of astatine at them, which pushed all of them into a pool of tritium. While they were all distracted by the fact that they were now radioactive, Derek flew over and dropped their one weakness into the water: A single pale green pen made by the Uni-Ball company, which was wrapped in three rubber bands, two of which were dark blue. This caused all of those beings to turn into francium, and they had all decayed in 8.5 hours.

Next Story