Alpha 21

Xtreme with a “X” Skillz with a “z”!!!

5-3=3 seconds later, Derek arrived at the planet “Coconuts” to defeat a group of Prestonian Spaz Robots that had become angered because a mysterious person who no one knows stole all their Saturn SL2s. Totally wasn’t Derek. Once they saw Derek arrive, they immediately threw a massive number of barf-submerged light bulbs in Derek’s general direction. Only seconds after that stuff happened, Derek deployed 77.0125 Missilez (with a z), and fired them at all the light bulbs. However, all the light bulbs moved out of the way, and the missiles hit the Spaz Robots instead, which was exactly what Derek planned to happen! Totally! Then Preston arrived and captured the narrator! However, he caught Tyler Follo disease and therefore he spontaneously combusted. While Preston was looking for his emergency bathtub, Derek rescued the narrator, and then filled Preston’s bathtub with liquid nitrogen, causing him to freeze as soon as he entered it. IT’S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! Then The Meta killed Justin Bieber using only a single light switch, causing him to be hailed as a hero. However, he wasn’t, so he then blew up all the Apple products in the known Multiverse, causing Steve Jobs to label him with the sinister title of “PC”, which stands for Penn Central. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Luckily for all the people whose lives depend on their iPhone 5Cheaps, Derek arrived, and challenged The Meta to a knife fight. However, Derek brought The Gun, so he stated “Hah! I tricked you; you peanut butter-flavored oak tree!” This caused them to enter a smack talk battle, which Derek won by saying “][”. Then Derek fired The Gun at The Meta, and he died a French Fry Jabba the Hutt death, after which he turned into The Meat. Then Derek fed The Meat to his pet incinerator, which prompted Spencer to say “Well, that was a thing!”, which totally isn’t a RWBY quote. Derek then rebuilt all the Apple products using his INSANE ARC-WELDING SKILLZ WITH A “Z”, causing him to be a hero to everyone except Bill Gates. Then it was time for a commercial break. MESOTHELIOMA!!! Then the commercial break was over. Then a DHL plane knocked over Obama’s digital outhouse, and this caused him much anger. However, when he sent the Obama Police to kill Derek due to his anger, they all got ELIMINATED by Derek’s Stuka that Never Fails Him, which was on autopilot cause awesome.

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