Alpha 20

Extremely Red Kill Yourself Missiles

-2 seconds later, Derek arrived at Eagle, North Dakota, population 0, to defend against a massive number of Eugene V. Debs Hippie Hippo forces that were bombarding the town with over 10,000 burnt green marshmallow missiles piloted by the sheep with the bricks. By the time the narrator finished explaining this, however, Derek had already won, and was moving on to the planet %hijuthgsptrogpu, where Tyler Follo was unleashing massive numbers of Cable Box Missiles that destroyed all the leather jackets within a 6.584756298465931406765936355 decimeter radius whenever they encountered something orange. Derek knew he had to stop them; otherwise all the stereotypical motorcyclists would have nothing to wear! Just then, the Funky Blue Republicans decided that they wanted control of the planet instead, and used their Post-It Powers to turn all the missiles into Windows Errors. However, they were Windows XP Errors, so they weren’t supported anymore! The errors then transformed into pieces of coal and fell to space. However, the battle wasn’t over yet because  arrived and began throwing over 47 golf courses at everyone while they were distracted. Derek was able to defend himself though, and fired over 48 Like a Boss Missiles at the golf courses. The missiles impacted with such force that all the golf courses dissolved into yellow paint, which then fused together to form a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown, or MMMM. Luckily, Derek escaped in his Suzuki Aerio, and the story was over because Derek’s computer started making weird sounds.

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