Alpha 19

Lollipop Flavored USB Drives

10 minus (5 plus 4) seconds later, Tyler Follo appeared over the planet GTgugruigreiufngdsiunijgneriufsdbvhcxj and dropped 000,000,011 Coke bottles on its inhabitants. This got them so mad that they rounded up all the cable boxes on the planet and catapulted them at Tyler. Since everyone knows Tyler Follo’s house’s one weakness is cable boxes from the planet GTgugruigreiufngdsiunijgneriufsdbvhcxj, it was ELIMINATED. This got Tyler really angry, so he decided to go attack Derek because, well, you know… reasons. He approached Derek’s home planet Vexa Minor, and fired over 1 styrofoam packing pellets in Derek’s general direction! However, Derek was ready, and blocked all the packing pellets with his Shield that is Capable of Blocking… THINGS, and the attack was rendered useless. Tyler wasn’t done yet, though, and he returned in his distinctively styled horrid looking flagship, from which he rained down various lunchboxes filled with circular ice cubes. Derek was unfazed by the nonsense of circular cubes though, and fired (10+(1-5))^3 Kill Yourself Tree Trunk Missiles back at Tyler, who was then ELIMINATED. Suddenly, the planet was covered in Apple Jacks! This delayed the Biannual Highly Not Traditional Horse Race of Undeniable Death by 3,008 nanoseconds, which caused immeasurable numbers of 80’s-era television sets to rain up from the ground. Confronted with this completely un-apocalyptic scene, Derek did what any smart person would do: he told someone else to take care of it, and went home to take a nap. However, when he woke up, it still wasn’t taken care of, so he climbed to the top of his house and quicksniped all the TV sets with his rocket launcher, leading everyone on the planet to call him “xXnoskopeqwiksnipezXx”.

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