The Third Chapter 10

(The Big One-O) Video Home System

3.888888888888888880 seconds later, Tyler Follo flew over and dropped a kitchen table onto the planet %nuFerfrebfriufb. This caused a hurricane to form, but it moved vertically rather than horizontally and hit Tyler, causing him to die. Due to his absence, the Humongous Halogen Hippie Hippos (HHHHs) were free to occupy the planet. However, Boba Fett flew over and dropped the HHHH’s one weakness: 18 red-tinted glass cups between 1 and 2 inches in diameter! This caused all the HHHHs to die a Wallpaper on the Ceiling Death. Then it started raining apple jacks, which caused nothing to happen. Then, there was a snowstorm, and the snow and apple jacks mixed together with liquid suitcases on the planet’s surface to form a type of glue known as Glue. However, the glue soon solidified into it’s solid form, sneakers. The Sneaker-Eating Bob Marley Green and Green Cardboard Toolboxes of Extreme Suzuki-ness (SEBMGaGCToES) soon arrived and started eating all the sneakers. However, Derek sprayed them with ketchup and they died for no reason, which made sense since this was the 1800s. Just kidding. Then Steve Jobs appeared and started throwing iPads at everyone, but he was dead so it didn’t hurt. Then Scout appeared and yelled “Didn’t hurt!” because it didn’t. However, this extreme amount of not hurting caused Hurricane Epsilon to form over the North South East West Pacific Ocean, and make landfall in Spain, killing -4645.4854956435974698586058634872563478 people. Then Derek’s Mom appeared and told everyone to waste their time writing Thank You cards for no reason to people they didn’t even know. However Ethan came and flushed all the cards down the toilet. Then he hit Derek’s Mom in the butt and yelled “BUTT SLAM!” Then he drank a Slurpie and threw a tomato at a nearby Exxon gas station. Then Jango Fett and his brother Django Unchained Fett appeared and shot nobody. Then Derek threw a paper airplane at Django Unchained Fett, which was his one weakness. Then he died a Just Ate at McDonald’s Death. (One of the worst deaths imaginable.) Then George of the Jungle appeared and shot Jango Fett in the face with a monkey. Then the story ended. BUT THEN IT STARTED AGAIN!!! (What is this madness… This… Is… SPARTA!!!) Then Derek said “NOPE.” And the story ended again.

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