The First Chapter 14

The Not-So-Secret James Bond-Like copy of World War 1 [With commentary from the author, FirestrikeZeppelin]

3.5 divided by 0.1 seconds later, maybe, Derek arrived at the planet Thenumbersixtysix in a Mark 5 Tank with 2 cruise missiles to annihilate the evil cheese-eating funky albino penguins from Jupiter (Wow, a planet that actually EXISTS!). Orbiting above in the Access Death Star, the 47 Fighters were becoming concerned. Suddenly, the device that showed his heartbeat went blank. For about 3.14159 seconds, everyone panicked, (wait, Derek DIED?!?!?! That can’t happen! We’ll have no story! Redo that last part.) Suddenly, the device that showed the main wave of evil cheese-eating funky albino penguins from Jupiter (Still amazed) went blank (Much better). For about 3.14159 seconds, everyone partied. Then, about - -2 seconds later, a massive sphere of plastic-looking energy flew toward the AASS. (By the way, AASS means All Access Space Station, for those who don’t remember a while ago, like 6 or something.) But just in time, Steven activated the Suzuki force field, made by Suzuki. Then, the plastic-looking energy died a Massive Gigantic Hydrogen-Based Red-Colored Explosion of Massive and Extreme Suzuki-ness. Another random long name. I love it! Then Derek, Steven, and Steven’s friends were deployed to the planet Bering Sea to destroy all the Evil Funky King Crab Hippies. Derek boarded the F/V Ocean Olympic, because it is awesome (Seriously, that boat is epic.) and headed to the crab grounds from Dutch Harbor Island. Steven & Friends arrived later because their large transport was slower than Derek’s highly modified Apollo CSM. (The CSM weighs less. Duh.) They then boarded the F/V Fierce Allegiance and headed for the grounds. Meanwhile, Derek smashed through 60 foot breakers and battled heavy snow during a fierce arctic hurricane. The funky king crab shot funky lasers that tried to make the Ocean Olympic funky. Unfortunately, it was already too awesome. In their faces!!! Then Derek launched Joj Crab Pots and Vivity-Vovity-Vuvity Gong Lasers and caught all the crab in his area and caused a cabalanche (Deadliest Catch term FTW!). Meanwhile, Steven & Friends were also doing well. However, Brittany had to take Steven’s place in the Captain’s chair when he got tired. After 2.5 minutes, all the crab had been caught and the returned to the USS Macon (A great ship indeed.) Derek boarded his Stuka that never failed him and headed to the planet ^fjvngfbghdbbb (3 b’s!) to battle Obama, but the Racist Radical Republicans showed up and there was an epically massive trifecta battle of extreme death. (Alright finally some action!) Derek jumped out of his Stuka, and then suddenly End of Line from Tron: Legacy started playing, because it is his entry theme. Then, a massive explosion rocked the planet, and Derek immerged from the fray victorious after 3.000000000000000000001 seconds. Then, another story started. (Maybe)

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