Alpha 17



3,000 decimeters after something happened, a Massively Monumental Meteor Meltdown (MMMM) occurred over the planet %g5gtn5gtnrdfjnk, so Derek knew he had to save the planet. He arrived in his Suzuki Aerio just in time for massive numbers of melting meteors to begin pummeling %g5gtn5gtnrdfjnk, and its inhabitants in panic. But then, Derek said “No worries”, and nobody panicked anymore. Then Derek brought out his trusty rocket launcher and fired 3,00,0,0 Hulk Missiles at the planet’s inhabitants, turning each one into The Hulk. Then all the Hulks grabbed the meteors and threw back into space. Then, the story was over. BUT IT WASN’T! Derek returned back to the USS Macon, but immediately after that, the Enlightened Missiles from EST The 2nd Chapter 5 returned and told Derek that in ,655444443224,43,5445454546/2534345234,,65,54w.34q.42 seconds from the time they arrived, a massive force of Tyler Follo’s Spaz Robots would arrive and throw everyone into Black That’s Racist Holes. Then, they left again. Then, the story was over. BUT IT WASN’T! Derek then went to the planet Gwwwwwwwwww to get some assistance against the coming invasion, but arrived to find the Narrator and Obama engaged in an extremely funky battle over what should happen next in the story. Derek pulled out his trusty rocket launcher, and fired 1.5 missiles at Obama, sending him to the Overpopulated Dimension, where he was then ELIMINATED by Boba Fett. Then Derek gave the Narrator a high-five, and he continued to Gwwwwwwwwww. That makes sense. When Derek landed, he discovered that 99.9999999% of the population was having so much fun on www.itsepicstorytime.wikia.com that they wouldn’t even help Derek defeat the Spaz Robots, but there was one person who would help, and that person was Andrew! He quickly jumped in his Pontiac Torrent, and they were on their way back to the USS Macon. They were just in time as well, since 5,000 seconds had passed right as they arrived, and the Spaz Robots were beginning to arrive. Fortunately, Andrew had brought a secret weapon, a nuclear nuke! These incredible devices, made by North Korea, were twice as powerful as a standard Kimmy Jong-Un-class nuke, and were so powerful that only 7,000 could not be mass produced at any 3 times. However, Andrew managed to steal one, and he proceeded to fire it at all the Spaz Robots. Within -32.1 milliseconds, they were all ELIMINATED, and everyone was saved from being thrown in Black That’s Racist Holes.

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