Alpha 39

HoY m8s iT’s thE Air ConditiOneR

2.64783269378246 inches later, Derek arrived at the long-lost planet of HOLYSHITM8THISPLANETSUCKS. As he orbited the planet, he noticed that someone had built a massive pile a window frames on the East Pole of the planet. He decided it was time to INVESTIGATE. He parked his Suzuki about 2 pine trees away from the tower and fired over 76 JoJ Lacrosse Ball Missile at it. After that the whole tower was mutated into Red Geese, better known as the Communist Geese. They threw all the bicycle helmets in the entire broccoli at Derek, but he caught all of them and fused them into one insanely insane helmet that was known as The Euphoric Helm. Rumor has it that this incredible helmet was later worn by Peter Austin. Then, according to the Interdimensional Rules of the Lime Green Power Outlet that is Slightly on Fire, it was Derek’s turn to attack, otherwise, he would have to make a 6 gummy bear sacrifice and blow up 8 tablespoons of dark blue window shades. Since Derek didn’t have any dark blue window shades, he had to attack. He pulled out The Gun and set it to “Damn! Them’s all go b ded if u kno at I’m sayun m80”. However, he accidentally turned the dial to “Oh sh*t m8 its go get all chil up in dis hizzie” while firing it, and all the geese turned into orange calculators made out of 10.832r2348 month old bread. Then the calculators got addicted to empty Wawa slurpie cups and spent the rest of their days trying to find more tape for their tape dispenser. Then Tyler Follo appeared and used his Mad Desk Throwing Skillz to throw an enormous beer bottle full of New Car Smell air fresheners at Derek. However, Derek easily dodged the beer bottle. He then set The Gun to “▓” and fired it at Tyler Follo, which turned him into Kim Jong-Un. He then spent the rest of his days listening to “Firework” by Katy Perry in his tank while he drove around aimlessly.