Alpha 2

If You Could Have No Superpowers What Would They Be?

Then it wasn’t April Fools Day, so no one fooled anyone. After this occurred, the LZ-77 received word that the planet FdfgierigfyergfTootsALotbfyufgedyfebfd, home to 14.yery37463% of the world’s tissue paper reserves, was under attack by the Dr. Oz Loyalist Frying Pans, better known as the DOLFPs. This could not be allowed, especially since Flu Season was starting! Derek called up the rest of the 47 Fighters and told ‘em all to get there in -6 years. -6 years later, the 47 Fighters arrived in a long caravan of various Suzukis bought on SuzukisAreMadeHere. When the DOLFPs saw them coming, they called in reinforcements, in the form of Tyler Follo’s new Spaz Army, consisting of rusty chunks of iron, as well as some other garbage that Tyler barfed up that morning. Then everyone decided to stop giving explanations and start destroying each other. Then, in the middle of the battle, North Korea showed up and shot ∞ nukes at everyone because, well, actually, even they didn’t know. Lack of reasoning aside, Tyler Follo interrupted the bombardment by barfing up Kim Jong Un, who everyone then killed. Then the Spaz Army ran out of ammo, so they started shooting Tyler’s used toilet paper, which was so horrendous in every way no one could survive, so the 47 Fighters had to retreat. Then, to everyone’s surprise,  showed up with a huge flamethrower, and since Tyler’s diarrhea is extremely flammable, it all burned immediately. Then, to finish off any remaining forces, J.P. appeared and summoned the Late Heavy Bombardment, and everything got bombarded. But then, just as  thought the story was over, Obama showed up in one of his hamster-powered tanks demanding 3,000 metric tons of Hippie Eggplants for -6.7 reasons. But just as he was about to threaten “Lethal Force”, a swarm of Vampire Coffee Mugs showed up and sucked all his blood. But then they all died from food poisoning. However, this proved to be a bad thing because all the dead Vampire Coffee Mugs attracted a pack of wild Jimmy Johnsons. After eating all the Vampire Coffee Mugs, the Jimmy Johnsons attacked the USS Macon. However, Derek activated The Big Gun and killed them all in 0 shots.

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