The Third Chapter 4

BACK STAB THAT YA’ SNAKE!

Exactly 10 seconds later, a (Pontiac) Torrent of water bottles flowing down the mountain swept the whole town of Yargstafargalargatarg 10 inches south-southwest, which was enough to cause so much chaos that a bunch of icicles rained down for no reason. This caused a bunch of mines left over from World War 2 to blow up, which awakened the Deadly Mutant Coffeehouse Goldfish Monster of Man-Eating Black and Green Headphones (DMCGMoM-EBaGH). The DMCGMoM-EBaGH then flew 7.8 inches into the air and farted for no reason. Derek suddenly appeared driving a 1st gen. pre-facelift Suzuki Aerio he bought on SuzukisAreMadeHere -2 seconds before the time when he appeared. On top of this amazing car, Derek had mounted a cannon which fired the DMCGMoM-EBaGH’s one weakness: TUNER-METRONOMES!!! After -58,934.34632762q38794 shots, the DMCGMoM-EBaGH deflated, which caused a massive amount of argon gas to rush down towards Derek’s Amazing Aerio (AA) at -2.47398475x10^∞ miles per decimeter. Luckily, since the Aerio was so awesome, it deflected all the Argon gas around itself, and Derek survived. Then everyone got together and had a barbeque to celebrate the harvest, and they invited the Bulgarians. However, in the middle of the barbeque, right when they were gonna serve the chicken, it started raining USB drives. Derek knew this only meant one thing: An impending invasion by the Evil Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 11 Forces! As this multiversally feared organization appared, the Basic Slack remix of “Solar Sailer” from Tron: Legacy played, which was Derek’s theme music. Sure enough, Derek appeared, driving the best car ever built, a plug-in hybrid version of the 5-Door Saturn Astra, in Voltage Yellow. This incredible car was so obscenely amazing that everyone, including the evil, heartless, Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 11 forces, just stopped and stared in awe of its greatness. Derek then exited the car and pulled the best gun ever out of the trunk, a Bergmann MP-18.1. All of these incredible things caused all of the EMBTT11 Forces to die immediately ‘cause they weren’t good enough. And that’s the end.

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