Alpha 23

The Return of the Evil Bacon Strips and the Praseodymium

2.0000009 milliseconds after Tyler Follo threw 6 grams of mud at Derek’s airship, a massive hurricane arrived in the general area, and over 5 inches of wood fell in as little as 33 minutes. This caused 2.5 spray paint missiles to fly 17-4+5 feet into the ground, and covered an area the size of Belarus in black paint, causing Stewart to say the missiles were racist. However, no one had time to argue with him because Tyler Follo appeared out of the layer of black paint and began throwing pieces of watermelon at everyone. Despite his best efforts though, he couldn’t actually throw any of them across the 4 foot distance between him and everyone. Just then, an enormous paper airplane emerged from the bowels of the planet GGgfdjgnrfisudvfnvrjs and carried Tyler high into the sky, where the pressure was so buttery that he turned into a piece of liquid suitcases. Then the liquid suitcases reacted with various garbage in the atmosphere, and a massive number of pumpkins becgan falling from the sky in the form of not acid not rain. As pumpkins falling from the sky was the interplanetary sign of “Holy Sh*t Stuff’s Goin Down Here Bruh”, Derek arrived to ELIMINATE the threat, only to find out there wasn’t a threat. That was annoying. However, Derek wasn’t annoyed for long because 0.3.14159 decimeters after his arrival, the Man-Eating Toolboxes, assisted by the Woman-Eating Water Bottles and the Child-Eating Front Steps, arrived with the intent of eating every living being on GGgfdjgnrfisudvfnvrjs, with the exception of their pets, because the Domesticated Animal-Eating Plastic Highchairs were not present due to budget issues. However, Derek was prepared for just such an eventuality! (Don’t ask how. We don’t know.) He lured the Funky Blue Republicans to the planet, claiming there were thousands of Obama dolls there they could blow up. But once the FBRs arrived, the –Eating Alliance was sucked into battle, as everyone knows the Funky Blue Republicans and the –Eating Alliance forces are archrivals. Then, once they were all in a relatively large area, Derek blew them up with THE BOMB (In all caps for emphasis). After being hit with TB(Iacfe), all the villains previously mentioned turned into Batman.

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