The Third Chapter 7

The Adventures of R5-D4

The following story occurs after R5-D4 is not sold to Owen Lars and Luke Skywalker:

<4.4.4.4..4.4.4.4.4444..44 seconds later, R5-D4 arrived on ERfrfbgergfryer, where Tyler Follo had recently been spotted “Doing Things!”, and therefore had to be destroyed, obviously. As he arrived, Tyler Follo detected that something reasonably decent was now on the planet, which would make no sense since he was the only inhabitant. Therefore, he sent his new Spaz Army of Upside Down Toyota Priuses (UDTPs) to destroy this reasonably decent thing. Once they found R5-D4, the lead UDTP challenged R5-D4 to a race, to see who was the best. However, the UDTP could not move very fast because he was upside down. R5-D4 couldn’t move very fast either, so an epic low speed chase soon occurred. After 5,678,837,464,772 millenniums, they had moved 3,y35.5y34544267 centimeters, and R5-D4 won, however, right at that moment, the UDTP’s arch-rivals, the Upside Down Chevrolet Aveos (UDCAs) arrived. An epic fight between upside down models of horrible cars soon erupted. During the madness… THIS… IS… SPARTA!!!!! that occurred afterwards, R5-D4 managed to escape, leaving both sides extremely not confused, because they didn’t notice. (Yes, that sentence DOES make perfect sense!) He soon discovered Tyler Follo, who was busy throwing shopping carts out the window of his 88.888888889th floor apartment for no apparent reason. He then left to get a weapon. When he returned 4.3 months later, Tyler was still throwing shopping carts out the window, so R5-D4 assumed he had no life. However, this assumption turned out to be false because he WAS, in fact, alive. R5-D4 then shot Tyler with his Banana-rama-alakazama-whama-slama-Alabama-Peter Pana cannon, which caused him to fly 3,076.84632746325436 miles straight up, despite the fact that he was shot in the back. R5-D4 then left to do something else. We can’t tell you what that is, but it involved a Nerf pistol, 3 pieces of firewood, a nuclear missile, 18 pieces of paper, a sousaphone, a surge protector, two bricks, an orange marker, an exact replica of Kauffman Stadium, and half a tomato, and that the resulting event left 10 planets and an asteroid covered in a layer of green slime 1 centimeter thick. We’ll leave that to you to figure out. It also involved Obama on a surfboard, but that’s a different story…

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